Abbie – 10 weeks

Abbie was born on the 4th September 1999 at Forth Park Maternity Hospital in Kirkcaldy. She had to be induced as her mum was 10 days overdue. “I think that she was happy where she was”, said dad James. Abbie was our second child, our first being Kayleigh, who was 14 months when Abbie passed away.

We had gotten married on Friday the 12th of November 1999 and it was the happiest day of our lives as we had become a proper little family. We had a great day and both the girls looked lovely in their little dresses. However our world was to be destroyed two days later when tragically Abbie was to pass away aged 10 weeks and 1 day.

“I noticed Abbie didn’t look right….she wasn’t breathing. Our world was destroyed when Abbie passed away aged 10 weeks and 1 day.”

We had been making our tea; Kayleigh was playing on the floor and Abbie had been sleeping propped up on the couch. I came through to eat my tea when I noticed that Abbie didn’t look right. Then it hit me that she wasn’t breathing. I tried to resuscitate her while my wife called for an ambulance. Everything that the operator was telling my wife to do – I was already doing. It seemed like ten minutes as we were waiting on the ambulance when in reality it was probably two or three. Twenty seven minutes later our worst fears were confirmed. Our little angel had gone. We were taken to a side room where a doctor told us that Abbie had sadly passed away. Abbie was brought to us but we couldn’t bring ourselves to hold her.

The next week was terrible with the police asking questions, (who I would like to point out were very professional and compassionate), and our family and friends not knowing what to say. It was the worst time of my life. I felt I had to be strong for my wife, who was inconsolable. What do I say to her? How can I comfort her when I am destroyed inside myself? I’ll tell you how – you have to be honest and talk to each other and be prepared to ask for help as we did.

My wife was put in touch with the Trust and she now befriends for them which she feels is the very least that she can do as she never had anyone to talk to when it happened to us. I sometimes wish that I could have spoken to another bloke who had been in my position as I found that everyone kept telling me I had to be strong for my wife, but no one ever seemed to ask how I was coping.

When we had our next baby, Thomas, I have never been as scared as when we had him and all the bad memories came rushing back. What if it were to happen again? Thankfully, it didn’t and we have now had another boy Joshua and everything is fine.

We will never forget Abbie and we feel blessed for the time that she spent with us.